Episcopal Press and News
Book Reviews: Two Terrys -- Two Very Different Tales
Episcopal News Service. December 8, 1993 [93127C_Z]
Taken on Trust, by Terry Waite (Harcourt, Brace, $24.95), Den of Lions, by Terry Anderson (Crown, $25.00)
Long after the yellow ribbons of concern have faded, the men held hostage to the radical politics of the Middle East are telling their stories. Through the grim details emerges a shining story of stubborn survival -- and a few surprises about the price paid along the way.
Terry Waite and Terry Anderson have written very different books which, taken together, give the best insight into the ordeal of captivity. Along the way we get a graphic glimpse of the inhumane circumstances in which they lived, especially the daily indignities and crushing boredom. (Waite was in solitary confinement for about four years while Anderson had other hostages as companions.) But these are really spiritual autobiographies and Anderson's journey is by far the more interesting and, as one might expect from a professional journalist, the better written.
Anderson was chief of the Associated Press bureau in Beirut when "fierce events" overtook him and he was seized on March 16, 1985 -- the beginning of seven years of captivity. Like many of the other hostages it would be a period when he would "attempt to define who I was and who I became under the pressure."
For Anderson it meant a reexamination of his Roman Catholic roots by one who confesses he has never been very introspective. He discusses with humor and brutal honesty the agnosticism and cynicism of his adult years. With some help from other hostages, however, he moves into a new sense of peace, "content to find myself at home again" in the Christian faith.
The transformation -- conversion if you prefer -- was energized by a study of the Bible with the help of two other hostages, Father Lawrence Jenco and the Rev. Benjamin Weir. Anderson is able to face the contradictions of his life and the anger and frustration that has been building for years. An argumentative, prideful man, he was often an irksome burden for the other hostages in the cramped room they shared for years. Anderson finds special affinity for St. Paul because "he struggles so hard with his weakness and pride, as I do."
Terry Waite, on the other hand, never quite emerges from the shadows of his own story. He is obviously a more complex man and his account is therefore quite murky. It is not helpful that he weaves into the account of his four years in captivity (he was seized while on a mission to free hostages in January 1987) a rather complete autobiography written in his head. Only when the two stories begin to merge do they provide any clues to the man -- and they are precious few.
Waite shares Anderson's pride and stubbornness. That probably saved his life, especially since he had no human companionship and was denied reading material until late in his captivity. Unlike Anderson, he finds little solace in the Bible and his faith journey is surprisingly sketchy. From other sources we also know now that he was used by Col. Oliver North as a cover for the Iran-Contra scandal. He confesses to naivete but we are more likely to conclude from what he doesn't say, but Anderson does, that he went on that last ill-fated trip out of a sense of pride and arrogance.
The Waite who emerges from this book is a somewhat fragile survivor. In a conversation with himself during an especially low point, he talks about his "insecurity, vulnerability, childish desire for acceptance." And then it comes spilling out -- "the inner turmoil, the lack of real peace, the constant struggle to find meaning; the knowledge that inwardly I am a child still craving approval and acceptance. I have no center, I am hurting myself. If I don't leave here soon, I will go mad, dissolve in peace. They will attack me from without, and I will destroy myself within."
Shortly before his release, Waite admits that "better men than myself would have been able to dig deeper into their inner experience. All I seem to have done is keep afloat and withstand the storms." And yet Waite, while in the valley of the shadow of death, has "caught a glimpse of the warmth of light, and the shadow has receded." While admitting that his prayers have been "puny," he thinks that "once or twice I have touched the awesome mystery which lies at the heart of the universe, and which I call God."
Then Waite discovers that four other hostages, including Terry Anderson, are in the adjacent room. They learn to communicate by tapping through the wall and Waite catches up on what has happened in the world during his captivity because the others had access to television. Soon they are moved into the same room and play out the closing chapters of their common saga.
And what next? Anderson is talking about politics and Waite is making the rounds to sell his book. We are left with the tantalizing question of what long-term impact their captivity will have on their lives -- and on the rest of us.