Episcopal Press and News
Presiding Bishop's Remarks to Executive Council, November 10, 1992
Episcopal News Service. November 18, 1992 [92235]
There has been a terrible tragedy in our community. I believe we would not be faithful to what it means to live in community were we simply to ignore this and go on as usual. Therefore, in consultation with Pam Chinnis, Don Nickerson and others I have decided that we will take some time at the beginning of this week together to do some sharing about Wally Frey. I want to do this not simply because of this individual, but because the particularities of this situation have in them some broader truths for us all....
I want to place... my remarks... in the context of quote from Donal Dorr in a marvelous book called Spirituality and Justice. "The need for redemption is not confined to the world outside the church. The church's own institutional and community life is itself seriously marred by aberrations and distortions of the Kingdom values to which it is called to give witness. This is a source of embarrassment and shame -- but not of despair. For as Christians we believe that, though we are called to promote the Kingdom and witness to it, nevertheless the work is ultimately not ours but God's. Even our weakness and failure can be used by God: 'For we know that in all things God works for good with those who love him.' (Romans 8:28)."
I once heard a story about a Roman Catholic cardinal who, as he dealt with the people who came to see him every day -- many of them trying to convince him of one thing or another -- tried to remember that Christ was in each one of them. "Yes," he said. "I know. Christ is in everyone who comes to see me. I know. But...sometimes he comes in deep disguise."
I have thought of the cardinal's remark in light of the text I just quoted from Romans. "In all things God works for good with those who love him." My dear friends, I know that. You know that. We believe that. However...sometimes it is very difficult indeed to see just how God might work for good. The germ of good that will present itself is in deep disguise. I confess to you that the turns in the journey of Wally Frey present to me one of those times.
The very sad story we are addressing this morning about Wally began to unfold for me during the meeting of the House of Bishops in Baltimore in mid-September when David Joslin, the bishop of Central New York, said that he needed some private time with me for a matter of some urgency. As we now know, David wanted to share with me the very tragic circumstances surrounding Wally Frey and his admission of sexual misconduct.
As soon as David and I spoke, I knew we were in for some very heavy times. I also felt then, as I feel now, that these are testing times. I saw before us the potential for being called into our deepest sense of who we are as God's people. I also saw the risk of responding out of fear, or shame, and being less than who God would have us be. Pam and I have acted over these last months around this issue in an awareness that God is trying to work for good, and we are trying to be patient and faithful in that working out.
You have heard the facts of the case, which can be stated rather simply. I repeat them now so we are all working from the same information. Wally Frey was involved in sexual misconduct with male young adults and also a teenager. The number known to Bishop Joslin is said to be fewer than 10 persons. These offenses took place over a lengthy period of time, and the persons involved were under Wally's pastoral care. He acknowledged this to Bishop Joslin. He subsequently resigned from his parish and was deposed from the priesthood.
Bishop Joslin has handled this with fairness and the best good grace I can imagine with Wally and his family, with the victims, with the people of Wally's former parish and with the diocese.
We are in a time of healing. It is the kind of healing that can only take place when a wound is completely uncovered and lanced -- rather than being allowed to fester. It is a time of healing, but we cannot gloss over the pain that has been, and the pain that will continue.
I would share with you that Wally has recently completed three weeks of rehabilitation therapy at the McLean Institute in Massachusetts. Ahead lie the tasks of finding suitable employment, and his continued rehabilitation and recovery.
In the parish where he served for 28 years, there is an ongoing struggle to come to grips with the situation. Sincere love and concern for Wally and Ginny are mixed with intense anger and feelings of trust betrayed. Parish leadership is working with Bishop Joslin and the diocesan staff to make plans for the future. The lay leaders running the annual stewardship drive are working hard against the odds. The victims and their families are engaged in a special spiritual challenge as they deal with their own injuries, their justifiable rage and the need to move to forgiveness without denying the reality of what has been done. Wally and his family, the parishioners and the victims and their families all need our prayers. May the redemption of which Donal Dorr spoke be experienced by all of them.
These are not easy things to share, to talk about, for any of us. The first reason I think it is difficult is because we are talking about a human tragedy, a horrible tragedy in the life of someone who has sat at this table with us. Beyond that, it is difficult to talk about this because it is difficult to talk about anything having to do with sexual misconduct, and perhaps even more difficult for those who love our church to talk about clergy sexual misconduct, the abuse of power and a terrible misuse of the pastoral relationship. The fact that there was homosexuality involved in this case further complicates the matter. The issue of homosexuality is before our church right now, and I think it is fair to say that there is a great deal of energy all around it.
I want to make a very strong point about this now. This particular case does involve homosexual behavior. But that is not what we are talking about here. We are talking about clergy sexual misconduct. That is what this case is all about. Sadly, priests of our church have also been deposed for sexual misconduct that was heterosexual in nature. We may be confident that had the victims in this case been female instead of male the offense would have been just as great and the church's disciplinary action would have been exactly the same.
The reason I am making such a point is that members of the gay and lesbian community -- who are tired of being treated as issues anyway -- don't want their sexuality to be discussed in the same conversation with sexual misconduct and the abuse of the pastoral relationship.
My dear friends, though it is true that the issue of sexual misconduct and an abuse of the pastoral relationship is something that we don't want to talk about, the particular tragedy of Wally Frey puts the issue squarely before us. First, because -- as I said -- he was one of our number. It is, of course, true that Wally's position as vice president of the House of Deputies gives the story a notoriety it would not otherwise have. So, before us it is. I told you what I know about the particulars of this situation, and Pam and Hoppy will say more. I want to move now beyond the particulars to what seems to me to be the point for us to look at and struggle with together.
It is my deep sense that how we live with issues of clergy sexual misconduct says a great deal about how we see ourselves as a Christian community. In dealing with a difficult issue, we have an opportunity to show forth the signs of Christian community. Perhaps, at best, we have an opportunity to give some glimpses of the Kingdom. The signs and glimpses are desperately needed by a society that seems without the guiding principles necessary for responsible decision making about sexual norms and behaviors, or for that matter, for responsible decision making about how we are to treat our fellow citizens.
The moral discourse needed around the issues of sexuality is made difficult in a society that seems not to be possessed by love, but rather obsessed by sex. I believe that we, as a Christian community, have an opportunity and a responsibility to show the way.
So, what then are the signs of Christian community? How do we see glimpses of the Kingdom? I believe we are living the values of the Kingdom when we truthfully look at what sin is all about, but don't forget what repentance means, or that it can be followed by redemption, and -- with God's grace -- forgiveness. Living in Christian community means that we understand the suffering that comes with unwellness, with a lack of wholeness. Living in Christian community means that we search, supporting one another, for wholeness in Christ. We do so acknowledging that the search is a lifelong task.
My dear friends, with the work of those most closely involved and the prayers of many, I do believe we are working through this as God's people. We are viewing what has happened as a tragedy in the Body, not as a public relations crisis. We are also looking at it as a time to show forth, as a church, that "in all things God works for good with those who love him."
All of the experience of my own life and ministry shows me that even our weakness, our failure, can be used by God. I call each of us and all of us to let this tragedy be used by God so that, even in this, God will work for good with us -- because we love him.